I as Farmgal find that I value communication in a relationship more than I value gifts and dinner etc etc This hs been something I have been thinking lots about in the last few days thus prompting me to do this post and probably the next few posts. Whether we are big on communication or not its obvious that it affects many relationships. This post is a reminder to myself and a source of help to someone who may need this.
a) Clear communication is a major key to a healthy relationship
b) clear commnication is affected by:
-what is said
-when its said
-how its said -underlying tone
-how its said – method used (eg face to face, phone, email, etc)
-non-verbal communication – body language, etc
-what is NOT said
-what is heard
-how its heard
-what is NOT heard
-a person’s own heart attittudes and ‘condition’
There are different levels of communication, the highest level being ‘complete openness and honesty’ When you get to this level the ‘vulnerability factor’ increases. This is when we should be very mindful of each others feelings. If you ever reach this level with a loved one then we are in a deep heart to heart relationship. We should therefore mind the following:
a) Dont crush or diminish the reality of the other person’s feelings, especially if they have been honest and brave enough to share them.
b)Dont blame feelings on each other (or anyone else). It is better to say, “I feel angry about…”, rather than “you make me feel so angry!”.
c)Remember love is gentle, kind and patient. It is as we ‘speak the truth in love’ we grow
d)Most men will need to work at sharing feelings. If after sharing something you can replace “I feel…” with “I think…”, then you haven’t shared a feeling just a thought!
Good day everyone and I hope you find this useful.