Last week I made plans to travel down to London so I booked me on the National express for today. I had to wake up at 5.30am to make sure I had hot water for my six o’clock shower. Coz am always running late especially where catching buses is concerned. I was running like a mad mythee at around 20 to 7am carrying a huge bag. Got there like ten minutes before departure, got on and settled in my seat still feeling abit hot from the forced by circumstances morning run.
Am a fast driver but I dont over speed! (how?) Its possible people, I hate crawling especially on the motorway. So my eyes are shut trying to sleep (I dont sleep on the bus or even in the car) I think I must have been dreaming about my karin’ga ring’a when I heard a loud bang! The driver had hit a flying object subsequently cracking the wind screen. The driver who in my opinion was driving too fast on a country road decides there is no way he is driving that bus like that. So we pull up at the next village an hour into our journey and makes afew calls and is advised to wait for the delivery of another coach. 45 minutes later a new coach arrives we rush out(has been raining all day today) and jump on it….all excited that finally we are moving on..woo hoo!
Five minutes after departure we are back at the same village we have just left!!!!!!!!!!! Ok this is not funny. The driver wekad the wipers on and discovers one is broken. He stops in the middle of the dual carriageway and trys to mend it…bilas. Makes afew calls, some passengers who are worried they might miss their flights tells the driver to head back to the villlage we just left so they could get on the nine o’clock. I have alot to say to the government (Tony Blair are you listening) I was at a village thats 20mins drive from my place and I got on the bus at 7am. It took me five hours and three different buses to get to my destination. If I had not sold the karin’ga rin’ga…if only!
Anway I made it to London in one tired piece. I bought more stuff than I had anticipated and ended up buying an additional trolley bag. If you were in London today and you saw a chic dragging to bags behind her…eeehh that was me! So I market and I hear some Nigerian woman calling out
Nigerian:Excuse me! excuse me!
Farmgal: (looks back confused, rained on and still getting rained on and wondering who the heck it is. I stop and prop up my bags)
Nigerian: Excuse me! Have you just come from the market?
Farmgal: (not at all amused, directs her eyes on to the heavy bags) yeah
Nigerian: My sister, I have just lost my purse!
Farmgal:(obviously irritated) So!
Nigerian: My sister just open your bags (the rain is getting worse and I have just realised am loosing one wheel on on of the bags) maybe my purse has fallen into one of your bags!
Farmgal: I’m not opening my bags for you…
Nigerian: Please my sister I had some money in the purse…(she is now doing a terro buru dance. No offence intended but she was behaving like someone had died)
Farmgal: I said am not opening my b……
Nigerian2: (we have company, I have two mythees persuading me to open my bag and blocking my path) Please my sister
Farmgal: If you think I have your purse can you call the police…
Nigerian: No need for the police just open your bag (this time one of them is on the phone and I hear suspect)
Farmgal: Suspect! (whooops out her phone and dials 999) Do know the name of this street? (asking nigerians who are both speaking so fast and at the same time that I cant gich non of them)
999: Yes can I help you…
Farmgal: I have two women who are…..
999: fire, ambulance or the Police?
Farmgal: Oh sorry! Police please….(still raining and both women speaking at the same time)
Farmgal: (explains the situation to the Police, has no clue what street am on so I ask a passerby, I relay the info to the copper. The women are still blubbing on and I can hear the cop clearly. He tells me to speak to him) Shut Up am trying to speak tho the police and I cant hear him if you keep on talking to me.
Nigerian: (goes on phone talks to some I only understand Police and they start walking away. either they are illegal in the country or they are thiefs themselves. tring to confuse a heavy laden mamah so they can steal from you)
Farmgal: to the police- They are walking away and I dont think you sending a car will be necessary.
999: Are you sure you are alright and you dont need the police to come down there?
Farmgal: they have disappeared into the market and I feel safe to continue on my journey.
999: Ok m’am
Farmgal: Thank you for your help officer! (I carry on with my drag the bags journey finding afew people here and there to help me carry them heavy bags/one with only one wheel up and down the train station stairs)
Oh I know this is a long blog poleni sana! But I have to say today I got on the tube (the underground trains) since the London bombings. I was abit apprehensive but was fine as soon as I reached my destination. On the way back I was too ticked off/rained on/tired to notice.
Kwani this Nigerian thought she was Micheal Jordan and her purse was a basketball thus making my bag a basketball hoop? How does someone’s purse land into your secured bag otherwise…… magic?
Today am sure if I bought a lottery ticket I’d be a millionare kesho! Am so tired am off to bed and hopefully will catch up with you bloggers 2morrow.
I have not read this post thru so any mistakes gramatical or spelling should be blamed on this day!