Of testing and 4-play

Some, if not all of us are guilty of this two things. Picture this, you meet a girl/guy and a few weeks into the relationship. You’re going at it like bunnies. With protection of course cause you no do the HIV test yet! A few weeks into it or even the 3rd time you doing the dirty, we miraculously become doctors and AIDs kit testers. We give ourselves a clean bill of HEALTH!!! Takes only a few question eg Q: How many people have slept with? Answer: LIE. Q: Have you ever had unprotected sex before testing? Answer: LIE. Q: when is the last time you tested? Answer LIE or three months ago and last week! Etc etc

And just like that, condoms discarded or pushed to the bottom of the drawer in case we chipo in the near future.

Foreplay- we meet someone, spend lots of time going movies, coffee, dinners, walkies, talking, holding hands, laughing,sexting, texting, calling, complementing, showering, brushing our teeth before bed, kissing, caressing, caressing, touching, touching, touching ….
Then, we think it’s enough and you start jumping our wifeys two minutes into a fumbled bad breathe filled kiss! Quality mate, quality!

I’m trying to tie this two together cos the results are damning. In the first case you could be exposing yourself to disease and death. I know I know a bit too dramatic but you get my point. Second case leads to cheating (the unsatisfied party) loathing, hatred and the death of a relationship.

Don’t throw caution to the wind!

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15 Responses to Of testing and 4-play

  1. savvy says:

    Guilty of the first 😦

    As for the second… well, not married yet so foreplay still ok 🙂

    You’re right, people should get tested and should use protection ALL the time.

    And quality foreplay matters, turns on the brain which is the largest sexual organ… other organs too, LOL

  2. Smeaj says:

    I totally agree with you: we should never let our guard down, ever. Reason being that there are over 25, yes, over 25 known STI’s, or to put mildly, 24 of them; then on top add pubic lice to be the 25th on the list. We even don’t know whether any of the above on the list has mutated to produce something much more serious. Guys tell me, is it fun that they are having or are they on a quest for the diseases? As of now the rate of infection has gone higher among the married people due the notion that they are ‘clean’ in comparison to the singles. False faith? I’m tempted to think so.

    • farmgal says:

      I think it’s a proven fact that married people cheat more and put their partner’s health at risk while at it. Believing that the clande they have is only sleeping with them smh

  3. kbaab says:

    I’ll sit this one out. No comment.

  4. woolie says:

    Great post. I think that there is still a huge problem with people who take absolutely no protection…..even on a first encounter. It is just so frightening

  5. Smeaj says:

    We all know that even with protection not all protective devices have 100% effeciency. What I’m trying to emphasize here is the magnitude of risk men and women take with one another. Put into consideration the multiplication factor, which of course doubles if not even triples the dangers involved. Let’s try simple arithmetic. Say by the time a man gets to be fifty he has taken to bed about a small figure of merely 20 women who have in turn taken to be 5 men each to bed. By the time these five women get to the age of fifty assuming they behave there after the child bearing age, this chain will have grown more than six-fold not mentiioning that this lot will have brought forth a generation of adulterers worse off than they. We have omitted those who will have died from AIDS as a result leave alone the never un-ending milder ailments. The suffering is of enormours proportions, unimaginable. I wish there was a way of ending this madness.

  6. Project44 says:

    Halleluia for sounding the warning!

    • yella soul says:

      am loving this new brave FG telling them like it is…hehehe…I agree with you totally..

      So what’s to be said of a guy who tries to yank off the protection mid-way??…and on foreplay,it’s always alot about the girls needing the work….how about dudes?..should naked bodies alone be expected to be good enough?..If a boy cant’ get it up…is it all about his nerves…or a case of not being warmed up enough?…i think it swings both ways…just my thoughts….but girls always think dudes should have no trouble arriving with no work…or am I wrong??…I know someone who was traumatised..he didnt make it all the way through …and the girl was mighty pissed/hurt…

  7. Smeaj says:

    With all due respect, let’s try to understand the dynamics of coitus; the combination of body/bodies, soul/souls, rushing of adrenaline of both parties, the need to attend/be attended to of either of them- this is just too much for some of the unexperienced guys. Sometimes it doesn’t work out as we expect putting into account that every one of us doesn’t work at 100% efficiency all the time. Take or add afew marks either way and you will have a complete human being. As for your traumatised friend, tell her to learn how to put her bull at ease and she will get the best of it; after all she also has emotions and she biologically takes longer to get to the plateau phase than the guy. Her partner should take much longer at foreplay(practice makes perfect). For guys who opt for nyama-kwa-nyama in mid-ride, let them know that they either want to bring a new bastard to add to the world’s 7billion or they are suicidal.

  8. Aria says:

    “Q: How many people have slept with? Answer: LIE.”
    HAHAHA…So true!

  9. Darius says:

    I once came across a fascinating signature that someone used in an online forum.

    90% of women carry lip protection
    10% carry HIV protection

    The biggest problem for Africans in particular when it comes to maintaining a healthy sex life is behaviour and attitudes. There’s just something that goes flying out of the window when presented with an opportunity for coitus. I remember a guy once telling me that for him “Mchagua kuma ni muongo” – loosely translated, I figured this guy was capable of shagging anything that moved, and if it didn’t move, he’ll shag it until it does.

    My problem with the guy is that he thought getting an STI was something that happened to other people because the girls he went for were decent girls. You really can’t buy that sort of ignorance if you tried.

    Another interesting aspect of this topic is the issue of power and in particular, the power for women to negotiate the use of condoms especially when they suspect that their husbands or partners are unfaithful. The reality is that for most, as much as they can think that they’ll be in a position to demand that their husbands use a condom, such conversations can easily end up on a path to divorce or even domestic violence.

    I can testify to the roll call of truckloads of women we’ve worked with who’ve been blindsided and ended up infected, and despite what they thought they could do, they end up succumbing to the age old doctrine of “you will be faithful to your husband” – translated to you will have sex with him without protection. This can be really baffling especially when you consider how liberated, economically empowered or independent some of these women are.

    The more disturbing thing is that healthy living as a general issue for Africans is an alien concept. Even in the UK, most Africans interact with the health system at accident and emergency when they have no other alternative.

    As for 4-play – one thing you learn about marriage is that it’s a project. Just because you have in-house access, it doesn’t make it easier one bit. It’s bloody hard work – LOL.

    enough doesn’t cut it.

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