Blank

I feel so blank at the minute or is it that I have much to say but not sure I want to say it. I think so!

Lately I have discovered that I like being left alone. I have been with people more than I used to (physically) but seems I still have that leave me alone and shut-up demeanour. I achieve that by having both the telly and the radio on at the same time. If one keeps talking I put up the volume a little just to drown the conversation. I find this weird but I guess am just weird like that. I just don’t want to talk. One of my friends told me that I use noise to avoid communication or something to that effect.

There’s this lady we visited with my mum just before I came back to the UK in April. She kept telling me to ‘go back to UK cos there’s no life in Kenya’ Blah blah blah. Since my mum was there, I totally blanked her out and fell asleep but that was after trying to fake smile through the talk. You know some people just talk and you can’t share your thoughts. Sigh..very tiring
There’s a lot going on in my head and many questions from people around me aren’t helping me solve anything.

Anyway..two Sundays ago I went to church and there was such a beautiful sermon, I promised myself to share with you lot in brief. There’s a preacher in me by the way but not those 45 min plus ones. Here goes–the gist of it cos I can’t remember all of it.

WHEN YOU’RE GETTING PRUNED IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU DONE SOMETHING WRONG!

You know when one prunes a tree, it means they are preparing it for bigger and better fruit. I learnt that it the same with God. You produce fruit and then He just cuts stuff off you to make your life even more fruitful! Now when this is happening we cry and cry and complain and complain and a lot more. I mean read the story of Job- He was a good man and then suddenly here he was-no family no livestock etc.

It good to do the following if you know you’re in that season which my pastor called winter.

1. Avoid ‘job’ friends (they try to make you confess sins you didn’t even commit in search of what you could have done to God to make it all go pear-shaped)
2. Avoid ‘job’ wife (I mean, curse God! how will that help)

Also , when you’re in that season you should still have some fruit otherwise you’ll end up cursed like that fig tree that Jesus cursed. Jesus knew it wasn’t the fig season but still expected some fruit. For that reason plant yourself in the river of God.

If you’re in summer and your friend is in winter avoid:
Telling them what they could’ve done wrong.
Don’t have that holier than thou badge on. etc etc

If you’re in ‘winter’ don’t
Be jealous when you see someone else in ‘summer’ having it easy.
Don’t complain

I think that’s enough preaching for today.