Farmgal

Do I have “Married? Hit on me” written on my forehead????

aaarrgggghhhhh

When I switched on the telly and saw the breaking news of Jackson’s death last night. I got the same weird feeling I got when I first heard of the 911, Princess Diana’s death and most recently when I heard of Sadam Hussein’s death.

Age 50

RIP king of pop

I used to have a creative mind as far as writing poetry is concerned! I really want that talent back..I had close galfriends in ma class sending their boyfriends my poems..

I miss my talent!

So, recently I had a funny experience. I have this galfriend who has got two kids. She in turn had a galfriend who’s got one child. Now we were planning to do the Twickenham 7s thing. As you know if you live in the village, there’s a lot of planning involved – sleeping arrangements-which cars to take -which spot to hit for the after parties etc…

Since I recently came back to England, I made my own plans. My gal who has two kids had plans to sleep at her galfriend’s hubby’s house (she doesn’t talk to the man cos she called the police on him once when she found him beating the poor gal up) The guy has a house huuukooo Southeast London. Too far as far as our after party plans were concerned. I spoke to my gal E who live in London and she was like ‘you lot can stay with me instead of doing hotels and whatever’ Cos we went for E’s plan.

Strop Mode

My galfriend’s galfriend decides she’s stroppy and kills her friendship with my galfriend cos she doesn’t want to share her with anyone. Am like..’are you dating this woman’? She sent a text going- ’since FG came back, seems you two got a better friendship going on. I am not going for rugby, you two go and have fun!’ Then another text ‘please stop talking to FG about me ‘

The whole thing was sooooo stupid I am sure you’re confused just reading this.

Anyway, went to Twickenham where we had lots and lots of fun and then went to Scotland. We are sort of groupies as far as kenya’s 7s team are concerned.

Those who are going for the Safari 7s…am so jealous!

I feel so blank at the minute or is it that I have much to say but not sure I want to say it. I think so!

Lately I have discovered that I like being left alone. I have been with people more than I used to (physically) but seems I still have that leave me alone and shut-up demeanour. I achieve that by having both the telly and the radio on at the same time. If one keeps talking I put up the volume a little just to drown the conversation. I find this weird but I guess am just weird like that. I just don’t want to talk. One of my friends told me that I use noise to avoid communication or something to that effect.

There’s this lady we visited with my mum just before I came back to the UK in April. She kept telling me to ‘go back to UK cos there’s no life in Kenya’ Blah blah blah. Since my mum was there, I totally blanked her out and fell asleep but that was after trying to fake smile through the talk. You know some people just talk and you can’t share your thoughts. Sigh..very tiring
There’s a lot going on in my head and many questions from people around me aren’t helping me solve anything.

Anyway..two Sundays ago I went to church and there was such a beautiful sermon, I promised myself to share with you lot in brief. There’s a preacher in me by the way but not those 45 min plus ones. Here goes–the gist of it cos I can’t remember all of it.

WHEN YOU’RE GETTING PRUNED IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU DONE SOMETHING WRONG!

You know when one prunes a tree, it means they are preparing it for bigger and better fruit. I learnt that it the same with God. You produce fruit and then He just cuts stuff off you to make your life even more fruitful! Now when this is happening we cry and cry and complain and complain and a lot more. I mean read the story of Job- He was a good man and then suddenly here he was-no family no livestock etc.

It good to do the following if you know you’re in that season which my pastor called winter.

1. Avoid ‘job’ friends (they try to make you confess sins you didn’t even commit in search of what you could have done to God to make it all go pear-shaped)
2. Avoid ‘job’ wife (I mean, curse God! how will that help)

Also , when you’re in that season you should still have some fruit otherwise you’ll end up cursed like that fig tree that Jesus cursed. Jesus knew it wasn’t the fig season but still expected some fruit. For that reason plant yourself in the river of God.

If you’re in summer and your friend is in winter avoid:
Telling them what they could’ve done wrong.
Don’t have that holier than thou badge on. etc etc

If you’re in ‘winter’ don’t
Be jealous when you see someone else in ’summer’ having it easy.
Don’t complain

I think that’s enough preaching for today.

One lovelorn man who tried to steal a £1,750 engagement ring by swallowing it was caught after police ran a metal detector over his stomach, x-rayed him, and eventually proved their case by mounting a three-day vigil outside his cell while nature took its course and the ring ‘emerged’.

Hungover Chris Foster, 18, had no memory of swallowing this 5cm key in a drunken bid to avoid being taken home – until his friends and the NHS helped him piece together the events of the night before.

These amazing X-rays show how a man arrived with a tap and 16 inches of pipework stuck in his eye at a hospital’s casualty unit, after slipping in the bath. But the terrified patient was forced to pull the tap out himself – because surgeons took three hours to send for a plumber to get it out…

It’s a medical mystery that surgeons never got to the bottom of – how a woman patient ended up with a can of hairspray up her backside. Still, the x-rays were very amusing.

This last one is just too funny!

Borrowed from www.misterseed.com

Am totally amused at how the Kenya politician will go to a school function and blab about the political situation in Kenya. Its a school function! The least they can do is lie how kids will benefit from them being an MP or whatever.

Nyhoo, the weather’s lovely where I am, hoping for a similar thing tomorrow coz there’s nyama and ugali to eat in celebration of our labour day!

I’m told “This award is bestowed upon a fellow blogger whose blog’s content or design is, in the giver’s opinion, brilliant.”

Given that I don’t blog much, this award must be like a sympathy vote from 3toc lol!
However I will attempt this…..

1. If am thirsty and say I have to go pick something outside or even go to the loo, I always have to drink water just incase there’s an earthquake and am caught out thirsty ( you don’t know there won’t be one). Even When I go to bed and I imagine I may get thirsty in the night, I have to go get a bottle of the H2O. I have to have water by me just incase. Very wierd but thats just me!

2. I dislike flying cos I don’t understand how a plane the size of a hotel can just take off and stay in the air for all those hours without the need to just hurtle back to earth. The more I fly the easier it gets but if I don’t fly for long periods of time then I start from scratch! I wish I could wish myself to a place!

3. I want to have babies but am too scared! I think I will probably have a CS Not funny I know!

4. My left foot is heavy on the pedal most of the time. Having said that am very careful on the road.

5. I prefer low shoes though I broke my foot whilst in sandals! Mrs Smith suggested I wear high hills and I swear her theory is so onthe money!

6. I still drove with my broken foot! It was an automatic car and the left foot was broken. The look on cops eyes when I got stopped, priceless!

7. I have met so many bloggers in person.

8. I support chelsea and I can be a little crazy when watching them play. I however try not to watch them cos I hate to see them lose! To be honest they haven’t been that good BUT they beat those liverfools! (breath)

9. I absolutely love the x-factor! The American one first then the British one.

10. I always fake I can’t play pool…I have witnesses in here. Freaked them out too…. Xs uko wapi?

1You must brag about the award
2You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger
3You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
4Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog.
5List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!Who knew this would be so much work!.

And now to the most important part, I tagg

Mr Smith just cos you’re Mr Smith

Mrs Smith if she can stop giggling

d® I love tagging you..

Archer cos you tickle us all

3N cos he’s a sweet person. I have met him!

Modo Modo cos you’re the best!

Gay Nairobi man cos I know you like to have fun too.

The whip has been cracked so get typing people.

As a nation:

We kill because we belong to a sect.

We destroy the railway line cos we want free electricity.

We kill people who don’t share in our political views.

We steal petrol and food from overturned trucks.

We (online) call for those in Kenya to go and kill from our ’safe havens’ in the west.

We quickly rush to kill (mob justice) petty thieves.

We kill for love.

We ask to be paid even when we’ve not worked (mugiki).

Our police force contributes to carnage on the road for a fee of as little as Ksh 30..yes 30 bob!

Need I mention our trigger-happy police force

We as a nation really look harmless but if you take another look as the Kenyan, you’ll see that we’re totally the opposite of what we look like!

Feel free to agree or disagree

For those who may need it….

1. Boric acid
2. One spoonful sugar
3.1 red or white onion
4. A little milk
5. 1 Egg

Mix it all up in to a paste and apply around your house/cupboards etc. remaining mixture put in bottle tops and keep out of your kids reach but where those roaches hide.